When Your Reputation Is Unjustly Attacked

Has someone bad mouthed you and got caught out? Sometimes people hide their own inadequacies by taking a pot shot at those who ARE able to do what they cannot do.
They tell themselves that they could be doing what you are doing or would be doing what you are doing, if only they were prepared to be as difficult to live with/difficult to work with/as arrogant/ as ruthless/as unwilling to submit to leadership/as unwilling to toe the line/as manipulative/as stubborn/as uncooperative/as big a troublemaker, etc as you are.
Your reputation is unjustly attacked and you are left stunned, wondering why it was done. Your reputation is subjected to someone's attack behind your back and those hearing the attack were left with a distorted picture of what really occurred or who you are. Your reputation is attacked and the attacker endeavours to make it look like what is said is true, because of their timing and method of attack.
It hurts, doesn't it?
It hurts and it leaves you feeling astounded, saddened and over time anger can build, if you let your responding feelings go on without check.
When your reputation is unjustly attacked, when words are spoken about you that are not true or accurate in depiction, you can be set up to start to doubt yourself. This IS one of the more sinister points behind an attack on your reputation by another. They are intentionally endeavouring to profile you as being untrustworthy, unreliable, uncooperative. All the while, at the heart of their purpose is a desire to knock you down, so they can lift themselves up instead.
You are none of those things they have said. They are simply unwilling to face their own envy. They are simply wanting to wallow in their own lame excuses and to make you the scapegoat for why they are where they are at, compared to where you are at.
When your reputatioin is unjustly attacked you can be left spinning and wondering what do I do now? When your reputation is unjustly attacked you can be left wondering what do I say now? You can feel somewhat at a loss as to how to do further damage control. You can be left perplexed as to how best to avoid providing further fuel for your slanderers attack. Just what can and should you do next can become an all consuming and disrupting interruption to your life and your work.
What should you do? Maintain your integrity. Remain calm and continue to take pride in what you do. Maintain your course. Hold your rudder steady. These choppy waters they have thrown up behind you are nothing. They have no actual bearing on who you are, or what you do. 
When your reputation is unjustly attacked choose to keep on with your business. They will eventually cook in their own stew. Some call it karma. I call it God's natural and divine law. 
Their attack on your reputation is their business not your business. You are further ahead and along the track..... and everyone else actually knows that. Just. keep. sailing.
If the opportunity is there to forward and table a formal written statement to refute the allegations, do it. Do it as objectively as you possible can. If the opportunity is there, practise your right to defend your reputation, and do so as calmly and logically as you can. Keep emotions always in check. Your attacker wants to disempower you, and losing your head in the heat of the moment will hand further power over to the very person who deserves to have no further influence over you.
The very best of responses you can ever give to having your reputation attacked unjustly is to continue on providing even further clear, direct truth-filled evidence, via your words and actions, that what was said about you is an outright lie and a false accusation and statement.
When your reputation is unjustly attacked choose to build your reputation even further, to a level that your attacker will eventually be ashamed of their words and actions against you. 
Envy IS an ugly and sinister motivator. It makes people do the strangest and most unfairest and unjust of things, via their words and their actions. 
Envy IS often the primary root cause of an attack on a person's reputation, even thought the attacker will claim when confronted that it is not. Don't let someone else's envy and its fruit rob you or destroy you.

Don't let an unjust attack on your reputation ever stop you or hinder you. Regardless of whether the primary motivational root behind their attack was indeed envy, or proves to be some other negative force: Just. keep. sailing.

Mothers Have Feelings Too

She often gives all day. Then every so often she also gives all night. As a mother, you often burn the candle at both ends to do the very best by your loved ones. This can be at considerable cost to your own time, energy levels and overall well being. Those around you can come to be somewhat expectant, even somewhat blase, that Mama will fill in the gaps, respond without question and make all the boo boos go away.

I will always remember the first moments of seeing each of my children for the first time and how there was this immediate love-at-first-sight experience that occurred, and that it really was quite overwhelming.

Those little tiny fingers, those little purple wrinkled feet... they were hands-down the most gorgeous of things to ever see! You fall head over heels in love, and your heart and your head become committed to living henceforth with the best of intentions to meet the needs of this precious gift of a little person.

Yet, today I want to talk about what may be the not so great stuff of mothering. The stuff of mothering where that precious little bundle grows up and develops, and begins to step out into the bigger, wider world.... and eventually they start to repeatedly test your patience.

They start to really stretch your willingness to hold back from applying a kick to the backside that would launch them out into the wider solar system to never return, because they have repeatedly answered you back and yet again defied your instructions and directives.

You know what I am meaning, right? There are occasions where that precious bundle of joy has completely disappeared to be replaced by a stroppy, uncooperative defiant little monster and you are tearing your hair out and perhaps considering taking up drinking or consuming secret stashes of chocolate (that is if you haven't already, lol!).

Sometimes mothering and parenting another little human being just doesn't seem to match up and qualify as the world's greatest and most rewarding job, as much as we like to say it is.

Sigh. Kids!

Most if not all mothers have those occasions where your child or children forget that actually YOU (the Mama right in front of them) have feelings. YOU have needs, and this very Mama is not just here on planet earth solely to act as cook and maid, as well as chauffeur or general dogs body, so every other household members universe keeps ticking over beautifully. Mothers have feelings too!

Recently I contributed what little extra time I had (and some!) to a church social media project and the outcome of what I was creating was coming together to be great. It looked amazing. It had potential to work brilliantly, and it was very satisfying to see each aspect come together really well.

Then I got a message to shelve it. That's right, a message was handed on to me to shelve it, after literally weeks & weeks of working committedly on it, into what was sometimes the small hours of the night. There were second thoughts obviously about it, and I was told to shelve it. Without going into all the details of how this shelving was handled, and what statements I was quoted as allegedly having made about it's shelving, I was wounded. A wrong was committed, and I was at the receiving end of this wrong, and it hurt.

Mothers have feelings too.

It had cost me considerable time to do the project, and I had been very faithful in my commitment to doing it from start to finish, and beyond. Yet, due to what was obviously a second thought about it from a church leader, I was told to abandon it and drop it, and I was left feeling that my efforts and time were overall treated shabbily.

This may well not at all have been the intention (who can ever really know what is really behind another person's words or actions at times), but this experience of being somewhat flippantly and obviously wrongfully spoken about, after giving sacrificially behind-the-scenes for so many weeks, caused a stir for me on the wounded feelings front.

To make matters worse, it was left somewhat to perhaps be implied that I had chosen to abandon the project and encourage others not to pursue its final launch, when this was simply not true. I had been instructed to abandon it, and to put aside all that I had been sacrifically putting in to it, and this all very much felt like this came at me from left field. A wrong was put in place, and it wounded me deeply.

How others can wound us so thoughtlessly at times, doesn't make sense sometimes, does it?

It can be so completely obvious why some words or some particular actions WOULD be hurtful and wounding to most normal people, yet the one carrying out the wounding remains somehow in the dark and somehow so thoughtlessly clueless. It just doesn't seem to make reasonable and rational sense that they could, right? Yet this stuff happens.

Mothers have feelings too.

My children one by one came to realise that Mama was quietly hurting over something. My daughter picked up on it first. Perhaps because she herself is a creative individual, and a giver and a helper by nature herself. She could perhaps relate sooner than other household members to how I was feeling about having my efforts plus time undervalued, squashed and somewhat stood on.

It felt like my husband just remained for some time in his own little bubble of a world and that he just couldn't understand what was "the big deal." As long as he saw the house being kept, the children's needs being met, his world and reputation were not directly personally rocked, so any feelings I may or may not have had about the situation and how it had panned out, could be at best somewhat ignored. It wasn't a big deal, right?

What's the big deal???

Mmmmm, that's always a loaded question to ask a person who is dealing with feeling wounded and is quietly hurting at the hand of someone else's words or actions.

What's the big deal??

The big deal is that time and energy were spent on an additonal extra commitment undertaken, and these clearly appeared to be not valued. The big deal is that my work ethic and practice, my ability to support & honour leadership, my reputation and personal character was being potentially painted to be questionable, all at the orchestration of others and also beyond my control. My name was being linked with the reporting of a circumstance that was not true in depiction or entirety. This greatly saddened & wounded me.

So often as mothers we give so wholeheartedly to those around us, and at some considerable cost to ourselves, and due to that, the ability for them to actually wound and hurt us increases to a level that they just don't realise has perhaps occurred, or in fact exists.

They just don't perhaps fathom as fast as they should that any additional extra wound inflicted can in fact be one that really does cuts us deeply. This perhaps occurs because for a good proportion of our daily mothering lives we are already letting other frustrations and wounds inflicted upon us wash off us like water on a duck's back.

As a mother we have had to have thicker skin daily, for the sake of loving and parenting a child well. Yet behind this thicker skin is still a person who has feelings. In the role of 'Mother', a woman just had to hide her feelings away a little more so, for the sake of being in the role of  'Mother.'

Unlike a police officer, or others who were a uniform in a role of authority, 'Mother' doesn't often get to take her uniform off so often at the end of any given day. Instead, she can be placed in the position of constantly being on duty as 'Mother' from dusk and dawn and more!

Mother. She can give all day and often through the night also.

A mother is a vulnerable being. It can literally cost her some of her health. Her body is often never the same after carrying and birthing a child. It just simply isn't chemically the same, and is often visibly physically never the same either. There is an element of great sacrifice from the moment of conception that a mother makes for the sake of her child.

A mother is a sacrifical time giver. She will choose to put aside some of her life and her time to ensure that her child is helped. That is time and life that can not be gotten back. It is time she gives often, frequently & for the most part very, very willing. It is also time occasionally that she will give regardless, even when her will or her achy shoulders would like to tell her not to.

Mothers have feelings too.

A kind word. A compliment. A small child's big hug and smooching kiss and "I love you, Mummy!" can make all the difference on a daily basis to how a mother is able to keep on her game energy-wise.

It can be just the ticket to help her keep her feelings in check, so that she CAN ride out the other not-so-great-moments of sheer pushing through on her part.

A spouse or partner who chooses to go out of his way to make sure Mama IS getting some time back, and IS getting some energy back, is a bloke worth his weight in gold.

Mothers have feelings too!

Mothers will often give beyond what others at times will give. They will often invest in people and projects that others would simple give up on, or even feel weren't worth doing.

A mother will often back the horse that everyone else thinks will always cross the finish line last, because that IS what a mother will do.

Mothers have feelings too. It is that wonderful base of feeling and emotion that oils the wheels of her mothering and her parenting, and which makes a child feel both safe & loved, and able to step out into the world from. Coming to the realisation though that their mother has feelings too, will be the making of a child also.

Knowing and realising that mothers have feelings too, would certainly perhaps help keep the world a better place always. Knowing and acknowledging that mothers have feelings too, ensures for us all that a small child who will in fact become an adult one day, will perhaps be a little less likely to insensitively wound another. Mothers indeed simply do have feelings too.

Back to Eden Garden Tour

This week's video over at the Household Logistics Youtube Channel is of our backyard garden. If you are new to gardening, have an interest in gardening or have something of an interest in what the Back to Eden Gardening Method is all about, this video is one you might like to make time to watch.

Our garden has undergone amazing transformation over the last 8 years. This is all due to the Back to Eden Gardening Method. Our garden is completely spray-free and every season we have been so grateful for the abundance of produce we have been able to harvest.

Here is the direct link to the video: Back to Eden Garden Tour

Having a low maintenance garden that is spray-free and producing food that is very palatable and also abundant is really a dream come true for many of us. The Back to Eden Gardening Method is a method of gardening that will sort everyone from the youngest to the oldest, as it really is very low maintenance. You can literally taste the difference this earth-friendly method of gardening makes when it comes to producing good food for your table.

We have been enjoying harvesting literally basket loads of tomatoes this past month. Over Christmas we really enjoyed being able to go out as required and harvest fresh homegrown potatoes for dinner.

Here are a couple of photographs taken over the last little while. Do check out the video though, as you will get to see so much more of our garden & what it is currently producing.

Happy home-making (and gardening!), Everyone!

Linen Cupboard Organization

My most recent home organization project has been focused on the linen cupboard. Over the summer, my husband has been very busy painting the interior of our home. After he recently painted the interior of the hall linen cupboard and put the shelves back in place, it was a good opportunity to reorganize this particular storage area.

How I went about reorganizing this storage area is the subject focus of the latest video over at the Household Logistics Youtube Channel. In this video I share how I went about organizing a range of items, including bath linens (bath towels, face cloths, bath mats, etc), plus such bedroom related items as pillowcases, bed sheets, blankets, etc.

Here is the direct link to this week's video: Linen Cupboard Organization. If you would like to see other videos on the channel that specifically focus on organizing, please give this video a thumbs up, as it lets me know that it is a video subject that people have really liked. Thanks!

You can also subscribe to the channel so you get direct notification each time a new video is posted. This latest video is all about organizing an area of the home that can benefit from a little help to keep it orderly and tidy.... I  hope some of the ideas shared may be helpful.

Happy home-making, Everyone!

10 December Favourites

This week's Youtube video is now posted over at the Household Logistics Youtube Channel. It highlights 10 things our household enjoyed & appreciated in December. Look out for our favourites list each month.... this is the first of those we will share. Here is the link to the video: 10 December Favourites

Household Logistics is on Facebook!

There is a Household Logistics Facebook Page, for those that are interested. Here is the link:

Homemade Dishwasher Tablets.... We Made Them!

We're currently having a go at making and using our own dishwasher tablets. Check out the video sharing all the details about how we went about making them and the trial we are running...  the video will be posted up over at the Household Logistics Youtube Channel tomorrow (Monday 20th January at 9:30am New Zealand time)!

Here is the link to the Channel so you can subscribe and get notification first thing, as to when this latest video is uploaded and ready for viewing. The link is: Household Logistics Youtube Channel.

This is sure to be a video that inspires many others to also have a go at making what is really quite a simple recipe for a cleaning product a lot of us use at least once a day. Check it out, it is simple and budget-friendly.

Happy Home-making, Everyone!

Gift Wrapping Supplies Organization

Need some ideas for setting up a gift wrapping station? Are you wondering how best to store all thse leftover ribbons, rolls of Christmas paper, etc now that it is after Christmas? Are you keen to somehow put a little more effort into how you go about wrapping gifts throughout the coming year, yet don't want to spend too much money achieving that goal?

The latest video, Gift Wrapping Supplies Organization, is now live on Youtube. In this video I share how I went about organizing my gift wrapping supplies and greeting cards. I also share some budget-friendly ideas about how you can go about making gifts for others look a little more put together and extra special, without ruining your household budget. Budget-friendly ideas are always winners, aren't they?

Here is the link to this lastest video over at the Household Logistics Youtube Channel: Gift Wrapping Supplies Organization. If you would like to see other videos like this, subscribe & like this video, and you can always leave a comment letting me know what you found most helpful from this latest video also.

Happy Home-making Everyone!