To Fail Or Not To Fail

Sometimes it seems that no matter what you do, you fail. For years I have fought this inner sense of failure, all stemming at the root of it from a comment my father once made about me when I was a teenager. This inner sense of failure, of not being good enough, not being able to measure up no matter what you do or say, is incredibly binding once it latches on and takes seed.

You can do all that you can, go all out to try & achieve, go all out and work hours that others would think were humanly impossible or practical, and yet the sense of failure can still lurk or even literally manifest itself as actual failure and act as a heavy leaded milestone you just cannot shake off.

Words have incredible power. They truly do give life or death. They can tear down or build up. They have the power to bless and the power to curse. As a parent now myself, I am committed to never placing such a curse over my own children as was unwittingly and insensitively placed over me.

It can seem at the time to the speaker that the words spoken don't seem to bear much, but they can actually bite really hard and deep into the soul of the person hearing them. I myself know firsthand how much hurt can become attached to a flippant comment made by a parent or figure of authority and how, even many years later, it can resound in the inner ear of the mind when a situation triggers it being remembered.

Today I was busily working away at the computer working on the next video in a series I wanted to upload on the Household Logistics Channel. I had the video already to be exported to be uploaded and BAM! Things failed. The external hard drive that all the various individual video and photography clips were stored on, as well as the actual completed video itself, all in an instant became locked away and unable to be accessed and retrieved. FAILURE.

The hard drive which I had placed my complete trust in had failed me. No matter what I tried to do, or what my IT professional husband tried to do, the hard drive was not going to work and the outcome was systematic and total failure to launch. FAILURE.

Literally hours and hours of time, energy and resources are tied up in something that by all accounts has failed. Sometimes it truly seems that no matter what you do, you fail.

And so I have to wait. I have to wait to see if the hard drive will in fact allow for the files to be recovered from it, when it is seen by a recovery specialist on Monday. If not, I have lost literally a week's worth of work. I am currently gutted and frustrated beyond frustrated, because there is simply nothing I personally can do to rectify the situation. Sometimes it seems that no matter what you do, you really do fail.

Everyone fails at some point. For those of us who constantly seem to have repetitive experiences that reinforce our inner sense of failure, failure however little it might seem to others, has an extra harsh dimension to it. When you have heard yourself deemed a failure, as someone who is not going to amount to much, by an authority figure or figure of significance in your life, the ability to always bounce back from yet another failure may not always kick in as fast or as well as it would perhaps for someone else.

Some people do not have to battle an inner battle about a sense of failure like others do. They can let a failure wash off their back quite easily, compared to others of us who have scars and wounds related to failure already in existence.

Dealing with failure takes skill and inner strength. That inner strength has to be nurtured and it is best nurtured in our children when they are young. As parents we have a responsibility to be our child's best and first advocate. We have a responsibility to strengthen their inner selves, to build the foundation and platforms for their inner soul to bounce from when life hits them hard and fast. It takes thought and time to encourage our children, and it is time and effort worth investing in.

And so I wait and face as best I can Failure, this current sense of failure, head on.

I have to wait until early next week to hear the news about this latest current failure I am dealing with. I am trying not to spiral downward with the sense that yet again, this is something I tried to do and yet it was destined to fail, because reality and rationality say that there really is no such thing as a curse lurking over my external hard drive.

Still, I would like to go back in time if I could, and I would tell my teenage self that life is challenging, but no one, (not even I) will not amount to very little. I would like to tell that young person that somehow you will have the strength to pull yourself up time and time again, and you will ride out your failures, even if it takes a little longer sometimes than other people may take.

We ourselves can speak light into our dark places, and we can succeed even when we fail, because we can choose to step up once again, even when we feel yet again letdown and failure lurks yet again all too familiarly at our door. We can each succeed at journeying through our failure, no matter what anyone else may say, and we can journey through it well.

Food Pantry Organization

The first of a two part series of videos about Food Pantry Organization is now uploaded over at the Household Logistics Youtube Channel. Check out the 10 great tips for organizing & managing a food pantry that serves your household fabulously!

Motorhomes & Beachfronts

We have become more & more interested in looking at the option of buying a motorhome and taking a road trip through New Zealand as a family. Taking the children on a road trip to literally see their homeland, and all the various significant historical and geographical places we could so easily just read about, seems like such a wonderful and special memory-making thing to do. Why not actually go and see and explore the actual sights and get a greater sense of what they are like!

Last Friday we went as a family to the Motorhome Caravan & Leisure Show that was being held over the weekend at Mystery Creek, just out of Hamilton. We felt that attending the show, with all the various exhibits and displays, would really help us with our decision-making, and what an informative and interesting show it was! We would highly recommend going to such an Expo, if you are at any point considering doing a road trip or buying a motorhome, trailer or caravan. It really was marvellous to see all the variety of on-road options, plus the range of items that were for sale to assist with on-the-road and camping life.

I have put together a video over at the Household Logistics Youtube Channel, which shares a number of the highlights from the day we spent looking at everything. There was such alot to see, and it truly was an informative event to go along to.

We also made a brief trip out on Sunday in the late afternoon to Sunset Beach which is a beautiful West Coast Beach in the Northern Waikato Region. This afternoon outing is also shared a little in the vlog.

You can check out the vlog via the following link: Household Logistics: Motorhomes & Beachfronts. Feel free to subscribe to the Channel, so you can keep up to date with what is posted over there. If you enjoy the video about the Motorhome Show please give it a thumbs up also!

Outdoor Garden Makeover..... What Should We Do???

Anyone else having to catch up on their garden now it is Spring in the Southern Hemisphere??? Are you also starting to think about how you can set up your outdoor living areas to be more conducive to having family time outdoors with summer barbeques, etc? 

Today's big focus in our garden has been working towards clearing and tidying up this area of north-west garden, as it had been very overgrown. It will look much prettier and tidier soon we are hoping. 

More crop producing garden? An outdoor entertainment space? A play area for the children with a pop-up swimming pool for the summer? Some decisions are going to have to be made.

Mmmm, I wonder if we could possibly get a greenhouse in here as well as more fruit trees?? Then again, the children would probably be keen to have this area become a big play area, with perhaps a trampoline......

What would you choose and recommend to put in this area of garden or have it used for over the coming summer months and beyond? 

Would you choose to convert it into more garden for fruit and vegetable growing? 
Would you make it an entertainment area perhaps with pavers or a deck? 
Would you make it a private play area with a pop-up pool that can be replaced with another child-friendly playgym or the like for the colder months?

Please feel free to share your suggestions via comments. I look forward to hearing your ideas and suggestions.

Desk Drawer Organization